You may be going through a time when life feels overwhelming, when anxiety, sadness or difficulties in relationships leave you feeling stuck, disconnected or unsure of yourself.

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Perhaps you become intensely anxious when someone feels distant, or find yourself needing reassurance that a relationship is secure. Or perhaps closeness itself can feel difficult: you pull away, shut down, struggle to express what you need, or feel emotionally disconnected even within a long-term relationship.

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Sometimes the pattern is less clear-cut. You may long for closeness and fear it at the same time, move between pursuing someone and wanting to escape, stay in relationships that no longer feel right but find it incredibly difficult to leave, or repeatedly find yourself drawn into relationships that leave you feeling lonely, uncertain or unseen.

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Often, these difficulties have roots in much earlier experiences. You may have learnt to put other people first, minimise your feelings, become highly attuned to other people's moods, avoid depending on anyone, or carry a quiet belief that something is wrong with you.

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You are not alone in this, and you do not have to work through it by yourself.

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Many of the people I work with appear very capable from the outside. They are working, managing responsibilities and getting on with life, while privately feeling anxious, emotionally exhausted, disconnected or unsure of themselves. Others come to therapy during a period of depression, crisis or major change, when the ways they have coped before no longer seem to work.

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I work particularly with:

• attachment difficulties, emotional neglect and recurring relationship patterns;

• anxiety, overthinking and intrusive thoughts;

• low self-worth, self-criticism and difficulty trusting yourself;

• depression, emotional disconnection and periods of feeling lost;

• existential questions, identity and major turning points in life.

 

Therapy is not only about understanding where a pattern came from. Often, people already understand a great deal intellectually and still find themselves reacting in ways they cannot simply think their way out of.

In our work together, we can explore the thoughts, emotions, bodily responses and protective patterns underneath what is happening. That might mean understanding why part of you becomes frightened of losing someone, why another part needs distance when closeness feels overwhelming, or why you can remain emotionally stuck in a relationship even when another part of you knows that something needs to change.

The aim is not only to make sense of these patterns, but to work through what has remained painful so that, gradually, you have more choice in how you respond.

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My role is not to tell you who you should become or what decisions you should make. It is to help you understand yourself more deeply, become more able to stay with difficult experiences, and develop greater freedom in how you relate to yourself, other people and the life you want to build.

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My Personal Journey

My own experience of therapy has shaped the kind of therapist I wanted to become. I know what it is like to understand something intellectually and still find that the emotional response has not caught up.

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As a first-generation immigrant, I have also experienced the process of building a life between different cultures and identities. Therapy helped me through periods of anxiety, attachment difficulties and low self-worth, and gradually helped me become more able to stay with difficult feelings rather than immediately trying to escape or change them.

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It also helped me understand my own relationship patterns, become more comfortable expressing my needs and develop a more grounded relationship with myself.

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My journey has included practical changes too. I recovered from a difficult relationship with food and lost more than 60 pounds without dieting or restriction, quit smoking after many years, and became more assertive in the way I approach both relationships and my own needs.

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Before becoming a therapist, I worked in strategy consulting and banking. I know how easy it can be to look capable and successful from the outside while privately feeling anxious, disconnected or uncertain. That experience has stayed with me and continues to inform the way I understand the people I work with.

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I think this is much closer to the niche you actually have. Attachment becomes the umbrella, rather than anxious attachment becoming the niche. And I particularly like explicitly naming anxious, avoidant and disorganised attachment once, because it helps someone who has already encountered those terms recognise that you work with their experience — while the surrounding language still speaks to people who have never heard of attachment theory.

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